I have been spending more and more time in the Akashic Records connecting with my soul and it feels fantastic. My soul records have helped me to see and understand the hundreds of lives I have lived as a human being on Earth. I have made the same mistakes repeatedly, have lived, loved and laughed as the saying goes, have inflicted pain on others and been on the receiving end.
Communing on a daily basis with my soul has taken me to new heights, infused my life with joy and touched it with magic……. It is wonderful to have this new and expansive identity but I am realising how important it is that we don’t forget we are human. My body has been reminding me of this lately with fatigue and headaches and a flare up of my sinuses.
I have been putting pressure on myself to be perfect, the perfect wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, teacher and healer and not listening to my body or my human self. I have put pressure on myself I would never put on anyone else. Like a hurt inner child who has been ignored for too long the human me has been fighting back with behaviours, thoughts and feelings I thought had gone forever. This week has reinforced this as I have met up with people from my past who have transported me back to a time when my behaviour was (to be honest) not always nice.
I have been forced to confront the reality of my human self. There are people in my life I disappoint because I fail to measure up to their expectations. I am lucky to have the gift of accessing and passing on soul information but it doesn’t make me more spiritual or better than anyone else. Being put on a pedestal is not much fun. It can be lonely and cold up there. We all have our gifts to offer the world and each of us deserves to be honoured for the unique contribution we make.
As well as special gifts we have our humanity in common. Some of us (myself included) have been human for a very long time. We have experienced the many facets and the heights and depths of emotions that human life entails. It is sometimes tempting to turn our backs on the part of us that has brought us pain and take refuge in spiritual practises and beliefs but we must not forget that we are human beings who are here on Earth for a reason. Our human selves need kindness, patience, understanding and unconditional love. They know us well and have been with us faithfully for thousands of years of experiential learning. They carry the wisdom that only life in a physical body can bring. Their contribution to us now and in the future is crucial.
Throwing our toys out of the cot occasionally and complaining and feeling sorry for ourselves is what being human is all about. This behaviour will not disappear overnight. We are doing the best we can and need to cut ourselves and others some slack. Self love is the answer. We must love ourselves in sickness and in health, when we are being the best version of ourselves and the worst. We must keep on loving ourselves when we break a gluten free diet after only three days by having a toasted cheese sandwich (as I did at 3am this morning) and keep on loving ourselves when we lose the plot or choose drama, fear or anger.
Our transition into a higher consciousness will take time and the human part of us is here to play a vital role. We must draw on its wisdom and life experience and make it an important and integrated part of who we are. We must love ourselves warts and all.