Relationship Woes

 Relationship issues and conflicts are a recurring theme for many clients and others close to me at the moment.

The soul purpose of relationships are as a catalyst for learning. It is through our relationships that we truly come to know and understand ourselves. Living ‘happily ever after’ is a wonderful human concept but from the soul’s perspective the best relationships are the turbulent ones that teach us our chosen life lessons and help us to evolve.

At this time on Earth as we enter a higher frequency we are tying up loose ends from other lifetimes. Many of our relationships are challenging as we reconnect with soul mates we have a karmic connection with who can trigger deep emotions. Most of us have unfinished ‘soul’ business to attend to. Self sabotaging patterns and limiting beliefs that have played out over many lifetimes are ready to be released. The Akashic Records can help us see the bigger picture of these unhealthy relationships and get a clearer picture of the pattern we are trying to break.

As the frequency of the Earth lifts so must the vibration of every single human being. Our relationships, especially the difficult ones are a gift to help us see ourselves as we really are, to let go of behaviours that no longer work and to raise our vibration.

As we enter a new year and a new paradigm on Earth, this transition is, for many of us, bringing up some old and entrenched behaviours. We are having to face up to what is not working in our lives and within ourselves. Our relationships are reflecting back these unhealthy aspects. Those close to us are holding up a mirror so we can clearly see our foibles and faults….. if we are willing to look.

We are experiencing relationship problems because we are not taking responsibility for our behaviours. When I ran my parenting courses I talked about healthy relationships and advised parents not to use the ‘b’ and the ‘f’ word…which were…. of course….. ‘blame’ and ‘fault.’ Projection is where we transfer the feelings and behaviours we are not willing to own in ourselves onto others. What we think is all about the other person is really all about us. There is a lot of it about.

It pays to listen carefully to what we say. When we complain about others we are not talking about them but ourselves. When we do this it is helpful to stop and ask, ‘ What am I not accepting in myself? Where am I not taking responsibility ? It is time for us to get clear on what is our own stuff and what belongs to others and to take full responsibility for our behaviour.

One of my resolutions this year is to be true to myself in my relationships. The records have taught me  that when we live authentically it is not only for the highest good of ourselves but those around us. It is easy to moan. When we are tired or not looking after ourselves other people’s short comings are very obvious. There would be much less complaining if we took responsibility for our feelings and communicated more directly and honestly with the people in our lives. After lifetimes of secrecy, self sacrifice and of suffering for speaking out this is not an easy thing to do. People pleasing and following the expectations of society has become automatic.

This conditioned behaviour of not speaking and living our truth is one of the main reasons our relationships fail. We avoid facing up to ourselves which only makes things worse. We repress our true feelings and don’t speak up when we should and then one day everything blows apart and a friendship is lost forever.

Unhealthy relationships are not sustainable in the higher vibration energy that is pouring into the planet at the moment. The 5th dimensional energy is the energy of truth. Relationships where we are not being true to ourselves cannot survive. The 5th dimension is one of open-ness and transparency. In the New Earth there can and will be no mixed messages and secrets. One day in the not too distant future communication will be telepathic. We will not be able to hide anything. All we have and are will be laid bare. Anything not coming from honesty and integrity will not last. The new children already know and have been trying to teach us this.

It is important to remember, that whatever our circumstances, we are all doing the best we can. Compassion towards ourselves and those close to us and an attitude of self responsibility will greatly improve the quality of our relationships. It is these connections with others that enrich and enhance our lives and make them worthwhile. Our relationships are precious gifts that help bring us home to self.

Arohanui

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One comment

  1. Johnny · January 22, 2015

    This is all oh so true and most poignant – we forget the immense responsibility when we delve into relationships for possibly the wrong reasons, with odd intentions not fully understood, and obfuscated by complex interconnections with third parties. (Speaking from my perspective).
    Why this produces such heart ache is therefore the learning? Why does love have to be so painful? Can we still go on together if the circumstances change – if true honesty prevails and the intentions are reframed?
    I do know that old soul connections and past lives relive out in multiple facets…and when you see this over and over and feel those emotions from thousands of years back with her…it’s truly mind blowing.
    Thanks.

    Like

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